I’m lonely today, Pixelated Space. I need the comfort of something. I need a Warm Fuzzy, I guess. Need to know I’m worth something to someone. That touchstone that everyone else seems to have, that person or thing that they can come to time and again and get that comfort from. That something that soothes? That doesn’t sound right, but the change in meds is making everything alot harder. Sitting upright is a feat.

I guess this is all a good thing. Sustained depression and all, the meds are working. Not making it any easier to deal with. Knowing and doing are two very different things. Right now I’m so dizzy I can barely focus on the keyboard and screen, but I have to stay upright long enough to get the boys’ cage back together again. It doesn’t help I’m having to rely so heavy on everyone. I feel like I’ve lost my independence in everything. I can’t even fucking shower without supervision. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s just the side effects, it’s early yet, you have to give it time.. How much time can I be this, though? I can barely tolerate myself as it is. Yesterday, when I realized I couldn’t even stand up without falling over, I was just so.. I was disgusted with myself. Today isn’t much better. I’m sure the doc will be happy to hear all of this. Which will mean a med change is in my future. Yea?

I’m going to go watch traffic for a while, and hope I stay awake long enough to fix the cage back up. Atleast I remembered to toss some food and water in their pen for them.